R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Did you just see the Batmobile???
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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