Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
