Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
