I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
