do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish you could order shots online.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize