I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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