I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
