i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
