he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
