i would punch a child for taco bell
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
PANTIES FOUND
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
