I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
