How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
