We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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