1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize