I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's shark week go big or go home
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
