she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
