need another drink. this is the easiest way
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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