I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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