dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
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Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
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Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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