guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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