The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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