I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Randomize
