some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
