He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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