porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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