This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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