she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
