And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
