i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I see more hoeing in ur future
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
