This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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