You were right. It hurts to walk today.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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