I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize