I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
