i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize