no, he came in my armpit
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
