we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
