i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
