even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
