i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
