I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
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You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
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Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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