i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
