When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
