Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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