I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
