Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
