Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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