That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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