I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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