ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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