i don't like sucking hair
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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