Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
