do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
