i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
