you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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