seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize