I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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