Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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