Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
