I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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