Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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