we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The struggles of a small town man whore
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
