Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
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He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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